Gaining a Clear Conscience

I am ashamed to say that I forgot to take any pictures this week. :(

Jael's lesson:

This lesson may be one of the most difficult lessons ever to hear and apply. Ever since Sylvia and I were planning to start this group, we've been rather apprehensive of this lesson. Well, let me explain. To become an official Bright Lights leader, Sylvia and I had to watch some DVD's. As just it so happened, the FIRST DVD (drawn at random from the stack) was the one of maintaining a clear conscience. We watched to it together, and when it was done, we BOTH sat back and groaned, "Why that one first!?" Our consciences (the Holy Spirit in disguise) were telling us that we didn't have a clear conscience. Then, as we were looking at the lessons in set one, we saw this one, and we're like, "Oh boy," because one of the "requirements" to teach a lesson is that we have to apply it in OUR lives in the two weeks preceding. Anyway, as it just happened to turn out (frankly, I think it was malicious planning on Sylvia's part :-P), I got this lesson. And so I've been trying to live it out these past weeks. And so let me tell you some of the stuff I've learned, and that the Lord has brought to mind.

The first thing I am going to say something so important that I need you to pay extra close attention. I'm sure you've heard it before, but I'm still gonna say it again. You all paying attention? As I said, this is REALLY important. It's so important that I gave it a slide all to itself! Ready? NETSIL OT RUOY ECNEICSNOC!!! [look impressive until the girls start to react] Oops. How's this: "LISTEN TO YOUR CONSCIENCE!" (Haha! Now you'll never be able to forget it, will you? :-P) Listen to your conscience. I don't care if it's uncomfortable. Just DO it. The Bible says in Ephesians 4:30, "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." So listen to your conscience. It will always guide you aright.

You know, I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but I sometimes try to reason with my conscience.
• "It wasn't really that bad!"
• "I never said anything. I just THOUGHT it." (My favorite one)
• "I was too little to know better. (Especially useful if you're trying to not apologize for someone you did in your past)
• "They probably don't even remember it."
• "I already apologized to God - why do I need to tell anyone else?" (said when trying to avoid telling your parents about thoughts that you know you wouldn't be thinking.)
Let me just tell you. It never works. Even if your conscience retreats for a while, it will come back. It's very annoying. But let me tell you a little story.

As I mentioned, I'd been dreading this lesson for several months. But last week, when I knew that I was definitely assigned this lesson, I figured I might as well bite the bullet. In the past, I've really struggled with my thoughts, and thinking about things I probably shouldn't be thinking about. But I had always THOUGHT them. I had never said anything that would betray that I was thinking them. I had never DONE anything in public that would show that I was thinking them. Everything relating to this subject had just been between me and God. About six months ago, I had repented of everything, and asked God to help get rid of any bad effects on my mind. But my conscience kept telling me, "You need to tell Mom or Dad." I'm like, "But I already repented to God! Mom and Dad weren't even involved!" "You still need to tell Mom and Dad." "But I didn't really DO anything!" This went on for quite a while. I was constantly arguing with myself, and my conscience kept retorting. So finally, one Wednesday (I think it was the Wednesday after our last meeting), I was talking with my Mom late at night ('cause neither of us could sleep), and I sensed that "now" would be a great time to tell her. I still didn't want to, but God was really getting on me via my conscience, saying, "Now's a great time to do it. You wanted a testimony for your lesson. Here you go! The time is right!! Do it! Get it over with! You know you need to do it for Bright Lights!!" I kept getting more and more uncomfortable, and finally I said, "Mom? I really need to tell you something." And I did. I just blurted it all out. Without fluff or apologies. And when I was done, I felt so much better! Mom totally understood - apparently she had struggled with some of the same things when she was my age!

But I literally felt freer. I wasn't trying to hide anything. I felt like I was walking in a bubble without a care in the world. My shoulders felt lighter. I don't know how to explain it. It felt SO good! (Also, if you do this, your relationship will your parents will probably improve. The more you confide in them, the closer you will get. So this idea relates to last week's too.)

Sometimes your conscience pricks you before you've done whatever it is. For example, I do almost all of my studying online nowadays, and so there's great temptation to talk with friends via Skype when I should be studying, or going to the "forum" where a lot of other CollegePlus (that's what I'm doing for college right now) students also hang out. These two activities aren't "bad" in and of themselves, but my parents know that they, especially the forum, can be addicting, AND they aren't school. So my parents prefer if I don't do the forum for longer than 15 minutes a day. Now, this 15-minutes-a-day ruling came after I had been doing it without their approval for a while. So, before, if they came in while I was doing the forum, and asked, "Jael, what are you doing?" I would gulp and say, "Oh, working on Western Civ. II" (or whatever I had been working on BEFORE I had started interacting on the forum.) I would reason with myself, "Well, I was working on Western Civ. before. Just when they came in I wasn't, but I was before." I was really lying. Now, whenever I'm tempted to do that (like, if I go over my 15 minutes, which I am struggling to NOT do - mainly, I just avoid the forum altogether, now), I pause a moment before I reply, and I say, "Oh, I'm doing forum." And if I've gone over and they know it, I just take whatever consequences come. But my conscience is clear. I told the truth. I confessed wrongdoing. (And if you guys want to pray for me, ask God to help me to, not only tell the truth, but to also not do anything wrong, so I don't have any hesitation telling the truth.) Of course, it's easiest for me to tell the truth when I've not been doing something that my conscience tells me is wrong. :-) So in this area, there are two ways to keep your conscience clear: don't do the bad thing in the first place, and admit when you did it when you are discovered. Of course, if you aren't discovered, then it's a bit trickier.

Now, I want to address what to do if you need to apologize for something you did in the past. As I've been thinking about that problem (because I've had a couple conscience pricks myself!), I realized one of the biggest excuses people make is, "What if they don't remember? I'll just be humbling myself past the point of endurance!" I understand. BELIEVE ME! I had a situation like this a few years ago. Wen I was around 6, I liked drawing. And this one time, I drew a really grizzly picture. I don't know WHY, I just did. Well, my dad heard about this picture, and he asked me to tell him what I had drawn. I told him everything but one small (important) element that I was particularly ashamed of. Well, several years later (I'd guess I was about 13 or 14) my conscience started pricking me. "Jael. You didn't tell your dad the whole truth. You need to tell him about that last element." We'll, I tried to reason it away using the excuse I mentioned above, but it didn't really work. So, finally, one day, I cornered my Dad and told him about that. I briefly summarized the situation (to refresh his memory), and then I told him about that last element. He was very understanding, and my conscience was clear! It felt so good! It was hard to admit it, but it felt so good afterwards.

Now, you may be thinking, "Why did that bothering her? I wouldn't even remember the incident. Well, let me give you a couple scenarios.

Imagine that someone was trying to kill you. They had chased you all over the state. Now, they were in the same building as you, fast asleep. Would it be wrong for you to go up, and cut off the sleeve of their coat that is slung over the back of the chair behind them? Really! They had been trying to kill you, and yet when you were close enough to kill them, all you did was cut off their coat sleeve! What a way to turn the other cheek, right?

Okay. What about if you and some friends enjoyed playing with stuffed animals together. You had never really cared how many stuffed animals you had, but suddenly, one day, you decide to count them, just for fun. "I just want to know how many I have," you reason with yourself. "I won't tell the others or anything." (Deep down, of course, you know that you will, but you try to ignore that) So you count them. Is that really wrong? Even if you do tell the others, how wrong is that?

Well, remember King David, "the man after God's own heart"? David was king of Israel, a brave warrior, yet he had a conscience that was very finely tuned to the Lord's leading. Remember the first example I gave you, about the guy who wanted to kill you? Well, David had that happen, with King Saul. And David cut off a corner of Saul's robe. Then the Bible says, "Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for have cut off a corner of his robe." We may look at David in scorn for regretting such a small thing, but God had so firmly instilled within him a respect for the crown of Israel, that he felt guilty for having done any damage to anything belonging to the king of Israel!

Again, in 2 Samuel 24, David told his army captain Joab to count all the fighting men in Israel. Joab told him not to, but David wanted to anyway, and so Joab had to obey. The Bible never says WHY David wanted to count the fighting men, but I like to think that David was susceptible to pride, and that knowing how many guys he had in his army would either cause him to take pride in the size of his army, or to start relying on them rather than God. But for whatever the reason, God didn't like the idea, and soon, David didn't either. 2 Samuel 24:10 records that "David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to The Lord, 'I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, O Lord, I beg you, take away he guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.'"

In fact, after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba, he was convicted of sin, and wrote the ultimate "conscience psalm" - Psalm 51. (I could do a whole lesson on Psalm 51!) But I want to just read it together. [read the psalm]

Now, with that on your mind, I'd like each of you to fill out this clear conscience sheet. [hand out sheets] You have several minutes to fill it out. But do think and pray over them. [pause for the girls to fill out the sheets]

Good. Now, when you get home, and in the two weeks between now and the next meeting, I'd like you to try to fix these.

If you think you'll have trouble talking with the people, let me give you quick tip I found useful when admitting my faults: "don't look the person in the eye when you're talking." Now, I know that sounds terrible, but there is logic behind it. Looking someone in the eye while trying to admit a fault or offense may make the confession next to impossible, so just don't look at them while you're talking. They (especially your parents) will understand. You can even tell them, "I need to tell you something, but I may not be able to look at you while I say it." The important thing is to tell them.

Now, one last thought.

[turn off lights. Bring in lamp. Light a match, and put globe on it.] This lamp globe is like you. You have the light of Jesus burning inside of you, but your conscience isn't totally clear. Just like this lamp globe has spots that shine the light of Jesus perfectly, you also have parts that radiate God's love. But other areas are clouded and dim. They represent the things that your conscience says need to be repented of. So, you need to ask Jesus to take you [take off globe] and cleanse you by giving you the strength to clear your conscience. [clean globe] Now, [put globe back on] Jesus' light can shine through. Nothing is dimming His light. I've heard it said that "Bright Eyes" are the surest sign of a clear conscience. I don't know to how explain bright eyes. They just are. They sparkle. There's nothing dimming them. If you see someone with bright eyes, you know that their eyes are bright, but you can't explain HOW they are bright. So, as BRIGHT Lights, we need to pray that God would give us bright EYES. But a clear conscience will also make your testimony more bright. Peter said, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (1 Peter 3:15-16)

In a quick summery:

"NETSIL OT RUOY ECNEICSNOC - Listen to your conscience.

Arguing with your conscience isn't a good idea. You'll always lose. Just DO it.

Don't lie to get out of trouble. It'll save you the pain of a guilty conscience.

Clear your conscience even if the other person involved probably doesn't remember the incident.

Even if others don't think it's a big deal, clear your conscience! Remember David!!

If you conscience is clear, your eyes will be bright. If your conscience is clear, you'll have a stronger witness.

Action step: clear your conscience of everything listed on your CLEAR CONSCIENCE worksheet."

And, oh yes! Your memory verse! (You thought I would forget, didn't you?) I know this isn't the verse listed on your booklet, but it fit my message better than the other one did. Psalm 51:10-12. "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." We sang it just before.