Meeting #5: Guys

Ishi

Five areas of “guy problems” that many girls struggle with:

·         I have a crush

·         I think a guy likes me and I kinda like him

·         I talk about guys with my friends all the time

·         I think a guy likes me, but he’s just really NOT my thing

·         My best friend is a guy

Zoo illustration

In a zoo, there are cages around all the animals.  You can’t get at the animals.  Now, I suppose you could go around, pressing your face against all the cages, but that would be really dumb.  You could complain that the fences are trapping you away from the animals, but in reality, the fences are there to protect you.  The animals are the ones trapped, not you.  It is usually a good idea to keep away from the cages, because inside the cages are dangerous animals.
In the same way, the “guidelines” or rules in Christianity are not to trap you but to keep you safe.  You are free to go anywhere…except where the danger is.  

Triangle illustration

As in the triangle, the best way for a friendship (whether casual or romantic) to blossom is for both people to draw near to God. 

The states of being Solyma, the bride of the King:

Virgin

·         Song of Songs 4:2

·         2 Corinthians 11:2

·         Philippians 4:8

Yielded

·         Song of Songs 2:15

·         1 Corinthians 6:19-20

The description of Solyma in SoS, taken literally. :-)

·         Mark 8:34-35

Sanctified (Set-Apart)

·         Song of Songs 2:15

·         Deuteronomy 30:6

·         Isaiah 48:10

Pure of mouth

·         Song of Songs 1:2

·         Isaiah 6:6-7

·         Psalm 141:3

Created for Him

·         Song of Songs 4:13-14

·         Revelation 4:11

·         Isaiah 43:7

Bears His Name

·         Songs of Songs 6:13

·         1 Peter 4:16

·         2 Corinthians 5:20

Follows Him

·         Song of Songs 3:2

·         1 Peter 2:21

·         1 John 2:5-6

What her Groom does

He gives meaning

·         Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

·         Ephesians 2:10

·         Psalm 16:11

He maintains her love

·         Song of Songs 2:4

·         Psalm 34:18

·         Jeremiah 32:40

What Solyma does

Longs for His return

·         Song of Songs 2:10-12

·         Revelation 22:20

Refuses to get side-tracked

·         Proverbs 5:1-2

Ishi [my husband]

·         Hosea 2:16a, 19 

Gomer and Hosea

God told Hosea to marry the adulterous Gomer to show the Israelites how He treated them, even though they chased after other gods.  It is in this context that He says, “In that day, you will call me ‘Ishi [my husband]’…”

Consecrate:

The act or ceremony of separating from a common to a sacred use, or of devoting and dedicating a person or thing to the service and worship of God, by certain rites or solemnities.  Consecration does not make a person or thing really holy, but declares it to be sacred, that is, devoted to God or to divine service; as the consecration of the priests among the Israelites; the consecration of the vessels used in the temple; the consecration of a bishop.

 

 Focus on Jesus

One final note that I didn’t get to last night…

Now, I know I didn’t talk about guys much at all this evening.  In fact, you could almost say that my lesson was false advertising.  But I want you to look at things this way.

·         I have a crush

o   You have a crush.  Okay…who’s your husband?  Does thinking about your crush honor Jesus?  Keep your eyes focused on Jesus.  It won’t be easy…trust me …but Jesus is zealous for his own.

·         I think a guy likes me and I kinda like him

o   This is slightly more complicated.  It’s like the crush…plus another exciting, rather flattering element.  Again, though, focus on Jesus.  Remember the triangle illustration?

·         I talk about guys with my friends all the time

o   …do you think John would appreciate Sylvia giggling about other guys all the time with her friends?  Jesus is even more jealous.  There are many other things to talk about than guys, so watch yourself.  Keep your eyes focused.

·         I think a guy likes me, but he’s just really NOT my thing

o   Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Most guys who aren’t serious lose interest when girls don’t encourage them.  If that fails, talk to your dad.  If that fails, you may be forced to actually talk to him and ask him to stop.

·         My best friend is a guy

o   …where’s your heart?  Usually, if others can tell that you’re focused on Jesus, the idea of you lying or being involved in an impure friendship is hard for them to believe. 

Focus on Jesus may not “get rid” of your guy problems, but it will limit them.  I mean, if guys know that you love Jesus more than anything, they’ll think twice about bothering you.  Conversely, if you are busy focusing on Jesus, a cute guy or a flattering tongue won’t appeal to you.  A heart devoted to Jesus will be the biggest draw.

♦ Memory verse:  Hebrews 12:2  ♦ Bonus:  Matthew 6:33

Timothy & Titus Leadership Workshop

On Saturday, October 24, Sylvia Phillips and Jael Trinklein invite you to join them for a day of teaching and fellowship.  Called after Paul's two young pastoral pupils, the Timothy and Titus Leadership Workshop is geared to encourage and teach young ladies 12 and up in some of the practical ways that they can lead in their community without stepping outside their Biblical role. 

The workshop is formatted using 1 Timothy 4:12 as a guide, teaching young ladies to lead by example in speech, life, love, faith, and purity.  It covers topics from negative teasing to impure influences to witnessing, all from the perspective of a woman’s role as laid out in Titus 2 and 1 Timothy 2.  We will talk about women from all walks of life and spheres of influence, from Queen Esther to Mary Slessor, and from Corrie Ten Boom to the moms we know.  Whether you are interested in stepping into a leadership role soon, having been leading for awhile, or just want to be challenged and encouraged in your Christian walk, we would love to have you!

Date: October 24, 2015

Time: 10:00-3:00 (lunch provided)

Where: Sylvia Phillips' house at 15 S. 6th St. in Mascoutah

What to bring: Your Bible, a pocket folder or binder, and a notebook or notebook paper

Who: Girls 12+ (please contact us for exemptions) and their moms (if available)

RSVP date: Thursday, October 22

RSVP method: call Sylvia at 708-310-6234 or email us at brightlightsmascoutah@gmail.com

Note: girls in the Mascoutah Bright Lights group are exempt from the age requirement. However, this is not an official Bright Lights event, so it is open to any girl age 12 or older who would like to participate. 

Meeting #4: Identity and Personality

The topic this week was an interesting one to present in this group, because there are some widely varying opinions on personality and personality tests!  However, all the girls were very gracious in cooperating with a rather cursory Myers-Briggs personality test at the beginning of the lesson. (Thank you, girls--you're amazing!)

Because of the slight controversy in the group, we went over things that personality tests are and aren't. They ARE:

     •      Tools to help you evaluate your strengths and weaknesses

     •      Tools to aid in understanding other people

However, they are NOT: 

     •      Boxes to fit everyone into

     •      Weapons to judge people by (i.e. my type is better than yours)

We also discussed how no one type is "better" than another, but each one is important. (Romans 12:4-8, 1 Corinthians 12:14-18.) If everyone were feelers, we wouldn't have the engineers, the software developers, and the people that create life-saving technologies like stents and 3D tissue printing. If everyone were thinkers, there would be a lot more conflict in the world!

Obviously, each type has its strengths and weaknesses. God has created each one of us to be perfect, but then sin corrupted us, so now we get to deal with selfishness and pride. With His help, we need to develop our strengths and overcome our weaknesses, striving all the time to be more like Jesus.

In The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis (in the story of a demon instructing his nephew on how to tempt a human) says,

“Of course I know that the Enemy [God, from the demon's perspective] also wants to detach men from themselves, but in a different way. Remember always, that He really likes the little vermin [humans], and sets an absurd value on the distinctness of every one of them. When he talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever. Hence, while He is delighted to see them sacrificing even their innocent wills to His, He hates to see them drifting away from their own nature for any other reason. And we [the demons] should always encourage them to do so. The deepest likings and impulses of any man are the raw material, the starting-point, with which the Enemy [again, God] has furnished him.” 

In other words, we need to lose ourselves in Christ to find ourselves in Christ...God wants us to give up our selfishness and pride and allow Him to mold us into what He created us to be. 

Many people think that personality and identity are interchangeable, but identity is broader and more stable than personality.



Identity includes: 

1. Who you belong to (Are you a child of God?)
2. Where you’re going (Do you have the security in knowing that you'll go to heaven when you die?) 
3. Your purpose in life (You are on a mission from God. What is that mission, and are you following it?) 
4. Some biological factors (You're either a guy or a girl. You have a unique fingerprint.) 
5. Values, situation, and personality (The changeable part: what you believe, your family situation, your personality as discussed above.) 

Personality

•      Part of identity

•      Can change over time

•      More easily described

•      Who you are as an individual right now

Identity

•      Broader than personality

•      Unlikely to change much; secure

•      Difficult to describe or define

•      Who you are in Christ forever

If you are a child of God, then no matter what, you have the assurance of knowing that you’re loved, you’re safe, and your life has meaning. You know that in the end, you’ll go home to be with the Lord, and absolutely NO ONE can take that from you. As Romans 8:38-39 says,

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If this is your identity, you can be secure.

In small groups, the girls talked about their own individual strengths and weaknesses, as well as practical ways that they can work to develop strengths and minimize weaknesses. They considered Galatians 2:20 and Ephesians 2:10 in their discussions. 

As always, we began and ended the meeting with singing. Our songs this week were... 

Just As I Am 

In Christ Alone 

Make Me a Blessing 

Change My Heart, O God 

Have Thine Own Way, Lord 

Holy Spirit

Memory verse: Psalm 139:13-14. 

Extra credit: Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 2:10