Accepting God's Design For You

Tonight was a very informal meeting... Jael and Abi were gone, Sophia and Kira were sick, and I did not have a whole lot of time this week for preparation! 

We had planned a hairstyle night, so several of the girls brought accessories, and Desiree brought a curling iron and straightener. 

Mary doing Rosemary's hair 

Desiree curling Larissa's hair 

Rosemary with her "poofy" ponytail 

Daisy fixing her own hair :)

Larissa looking lovely 

Cecily with her crazy braid giving Mary a ponytail 

Mary :)

Gloria making Daisy look "fancy" 

Cecily

Larissa's finished curls 

The lesson topic this week was accepting God's design for us. Insecurity is a huge issue with teens and preteens in America, and girls feel a lot of pressure from peers, movies, advertising, and family members. However, according to a poll Jael and I took of 42 girls (all Christian, many homeschooled or partially-homeschooled), the pressure is not nearly as great as it is for "the rest of the world". Only 2 out of the 42 girls said they were insecure about their physical appearance. 21 said they were "sometimes insecure" or "a little insecure", and 19 said they were not insecure at all about their appearance.

Still, I would venture to guess that at some time in our lives, all of us feel insecure for some reason or other. What we need to remember is that we are made in the image of God, that He designed each one of us uniquely, and the He makes no mistakes. When we try to change how we look or be someone different than who He made us, we're rejecting His perfect design for us. Romans 9:20 says, "But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 'Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "Why have you made me like this?"'" Dressing up, doing our hair in fun ways :), or otherwise trying to enhance the beauty God has given us is fine... in fact, I believe God has given us girls the desire to dress up, to try to look attractive, to have fun with our appearance. However, if we start obsessing over how we look and spending hours of our time on makeup or hair or making sure our clothes are in style, that's going too far! 1 Peter 3:3-4: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." We are to focus on our relationship with God more than our outward appearance.

The root problem of insecurity is fearing men more than we fear God. If we're focusing first of all on the Lord, then being outward-focused and looking for ways to meet the needs of others, we'll forget all about our insecurity and our worries about how we look!

However, we still need to be careful about the image we are presenting to the world. We are Christ's ambassadors, and we are to reflect Him. Psalm 100:3 says, "Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture." We are His, and we need to show that in the way we dress, act, speak, etc. We need to reflect Christ's love and joy in the way we speak and act, and be honoring to Him in the way we dress. The world's styles should not be the standard; instead, we should dress in a way that is first pleasing to the King, then honoring to our parents, then honoring to those around us, and lastly pleasing to ourselves. Things to evaluate are:
1. Am I portraying myself in a Christlike way, or am I trying to draw ungodly attention to myself?
2. Do my parents approve of the way I dress? (We don't have to dress according to their likes and dislikes... my mom and I have TOTALLY different tastes when it comes to dress. However, we do need to respect  their standards for us, such as whether they want us to wear makeup, avoiding styles they disapprove of or think are inappropriate, etc.)
3. Am I dressing modestly so that I don't cause anyone to stumble, and respectfully to show others that I care enough about them to not dress like a slob?
4. Do I like the way I dress? Does my appearance reflect the personality God has given me and highlight the beauty He has bestowed on me, or am I trying to copy the world's styles and trends to look like someone I'm not?

There's nothing wrong with trying to look stylish, but often things that are popular with the world have very negative associations.
There is nothing inherently wrong with carrying a realistic-looking toy gun around all over the place, but you will scare a LOT of people if you do so! If you could somehow travel back in time to the Middle Ages with a toy gun, these associations would not exist, since guns had not been invented yet! The image of the gun would earn you some blank stares ("What is that thing?"), but would not have people running away from you and screaming. :) Today, however, the image of the gun has such associations that it will elicit quite a bit of nervousness from those around you if you choose to carry one around (which I don't recommend).
Likewise, many clothing styles have negative associations that will get you categorized as rebellious, disrespectful, or ungodly just based on your appearance. It's important to use discernment to avoid some of these associations, but of course, we should avoid taking this too far. Every dress style has some negative associations; we just need to be sensitive to how we're presenting ourselves and make sure we're glorifying God with our appearance.